Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. Dont let your mind be distracted. I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly. No, the 3rd one down. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. 12. Have insults and a tactful return ready just in case. With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. Fake hair, fake nails, fake smile. Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. 7. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we've been married for ten years. Student: "By staying home" An Honest Review. Wife: "I have changed my mind." The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. You get into peoples hair. No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. But then, whats my own humble opinion against thousands of others?I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. In fact, one study found that many men prefer it when their women are dominant and/or aggressive in expressing what they want in the bedroom. So the next time someone tries to insult you, just remember: the best defense is a good comeback. Two wrongs dont make a right. I do not consider you a vulture. 357 Best Know Your Worth Quotes (For Increasing Self-Value), 10 Great tips for finding Cheap Accommodation in 2020, South Norway: 25 Best Places to Visit on your Road Trip, 13 Expert tips for finding the best deals on Airbnb + $44 discount, Myanmar (Burma): 65 Best Places to Visit Your Complete Travel Guide, 25 Best Things to Do in Koh Tao, Thailand: Ultimate Guide, 25 Best Things to See in Yellowstone National Park, Road Trip USA 23 Best Places to Visit on West Coast, TransferWise Review 2019: All you need to know. Don't delay. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Do you work at 411? 1. Ive got to find it first. Ouch. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. number? Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. The opposite attracts, right? This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them. 2023 Inspirationfeed. Dont worry about me. I can only please one person a day. 70. Has someone left your cage open? It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. You have an old soul, think about it, your face is old too. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. People clap when they see you. I think of an unfair life every time I see you. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. Im sorry I didnt get that. Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. 1. Someday youll go far and I really hope you stay there. Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap. Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? Does the new one work better? Is that comment meant to offend me? It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or witty response. In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than a necessity. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. Any friend of yours - is a friend of yours. 29. She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." Is that a scar on your face? I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. They say opposites attract. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. He was so narrow-minded. I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Id turn back around. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. I hope it has helped you make the right decision. Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" 24. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Ding, hey did anyone hear that? Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? 23 Fresh Memes of the Dankest Kind 11,223. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. Good. Your pickup lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you, how about asshole? 18. Im sorry to hurt your feelings. People like you are the reason Im on medication. 50 Funniest Comebacks, Burns & InsultsMERCHhttps://thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Keep talkingI'm diagnosing you. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. You sure have a stately shelf for men. Id love to insult you, but I wont do as well as nature did. 34. There have been new tracks added. Then you've landed in the right place! 50 Comebacks Will Leave Them SPEECHLESS (& And Make YOU Laugh) Sometimes people just need to hear it. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." You know, when you leave the room. "Just because your on your period doesn't mean you can be a bitch." This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. you will make money. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! Remember when I asked for your opinion? Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. It's important to have a good vocabulary. You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. 2. 66. Too bad most of them are hookers. Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, dont sweat it. Before we begin, please note that I dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. 2. You cant take a joke. Hey girl, is your name winter? This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. The witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you dont want to be anywhere near it. Designed by ScifidiMensions.com. Your hair looks great! Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. How did you get here? Long story short, because you wouldnt be able to follow with the long one. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down. You have an entire life to be an idiot. Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. Husband: "Thank God! Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Can you do telekinesis? You look so pretty. Use them at your own risk! 37. If not, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate. You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. Finally! I never even listen when you tell me them. Justin "That's what she said" Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yeah, thats why I dont go there anymore. So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. Im not a nerd. "How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?" Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. then you will be ready. 95. 4. Im sorry. The freak flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. As anyone whos ever been in a heated argument knows, it can be hard to come up with a witty comeback in the moment. Im just smarter than you. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. This is the ultimate Duke Nukem soundboard, with new stuff added as I find it. A clever response can be to pretend to not understand the statement. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? I would love to see things from your point of view. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. A fool is the same all year round, and we celebrate you on April 1st. 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Youre living proof that evolution can go in reverse. Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. I hope you understand that everyone is just putting up with you. 52. Dont respond to their smd taunt. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. I am returning your nose. I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. After all, winning is all that matters! Acting like a prick wont make you grow up. 41. You cant fix ugly. All your calories go to your big head and not your body. 38. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. 77. How did you get here? Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. All rights reserved. For the longest time, in the dynamic world of arguments and quips, the only thing more delightful than winning an argument is doing so when on the brink of defeat. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. Ive heard you like to talk big. Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? But Ill keep trying. 43. It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. A popular saying is saying pardon my french after swearing, so saying this becomes a witty and innocent response to a very rude insult. i will make a cartoon for you Can I bring you a juice box instead? 3. November 5, 2021 I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Oops, my bad. Girl: Darling, do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older?Guy: With luck, yes. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. People clap when they see you. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. 2. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Don't hold yourself back from saying what you're thinking. Youre the reason they invented double doors. I now have a much lower opinion than yours. 7. Ill try being nicer if you try being smarter. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? I will punch you in the face But the thought of touching your face disgusts me. 16. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. Stand still so I can hit you with my truck. Usually people live and learn. 55. The only thing that offends me right now is your face. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! Girl: Shut up. I ignored you the first time. Oh wait, its not coming off. 55 Good Roasts. Your wig is slipping, and so are your senses. If I wanted a b*tch, I would have purchased a dog. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.Girl: But all I can see is never in yours. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! Those are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write smd. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Right. just Mr. With a chair. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: Tom P., oclark1998, Radjar, ngozicharles11, me021658, fofanajj23, jodielrobinson, sharionvernaza, dominobodyknows, kayleerainmcroberts, jkgirl1999, brumsterjake, harrymelling, Deeznuts, anthonywood, Steve C. Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? 74. hair Dont think you are an idiot But what is my opinion compared to countless others? I am 29 years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products online. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? 68. Hi! Insult: "You need a new brain dummy" Your face has only one problem: I can see. You like nature What does it do to you? If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. I love the sound you make when you shut up. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind if you want to seem clever or witty. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. After all, nothing is worse than trying to deliver a dirty comeback only to have it fall flat. You are a day late and a dollar short. 27. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. All Rights Reserved. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. 98. Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. Are you a haunted house? (May contain spoilers) Youre the reason God created the middle finger. You must have been born on a highway. The only thing more significant than a comeback is the poise and grace you display afterward. 30. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? "Shut Up your not suppose to talk while menstrating." Plus, the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion? 1. Your email address will not be published. Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. People who tell you to be yourself have given you bad advice. Too bad your penis is small. Seeing as not everyone can be articulate on the fly, having a list of sharp and clever comebacks in reserve could do wonders to your banter game. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. This comeback is witty because it takes the negative rude energy of smd and sends it right back to them by implying youre having a relationship with their mother. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Of course, when you use your comebacks, you must be strategic. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? 92. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. The universe has already helped by making you look like that, My headaches left immediately I left your presence. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Too bad your parents took it literally. Just refer to this post, and youll be sure to come out victorious. Manage Settings 81. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Your secrets are always safe with me. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. The trash gets picked up early tomorrow. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. I was trying to look like you today. Whats your number?Girl: Its in the phone book. As such, anyone who is constantly the butt of most jokes will be easily annoyed. 90. A: The back of my hand. You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. Dont be ashamed of who you are. "How did you slip into the gene pool? 13. 35. If you added any more weight, the elevator wouldnt move. I like to make you look disgusting. Guy: "Wanna hear a joke?" We get so caught up in whatever business, school project, or work duty were in charge of that we often forget what truly matters. 87. "Your wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead." You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? 82. Thanks for helping me understand that. Are you still single because no one will have you? You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Wanna take the joke a little far? It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. Even rats pay rent. Guy: Id like to call you. If youre going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Today isnt your day. Are you a haunted house? 14. Otherwise youre just an ass. Why not take today off? Oops, my bad; I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. "Take it up with my ass because he's the only one who gives a shit." Friend: What are you, 5? "No, I get enough of you on Facebook, I don't need to follow you on Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter." Husband: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Break Up Lines These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. "Hold that thought forever." Your face seems to be on fire. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Worry about your eyebrows. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. But Ill keep trying. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. You can attract bees with honey; in your case, its flies and faeces. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. Hey dog breath, if I throw a stick will you go away? [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! I dont know where you look. That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. 36. I cant suck something that doesnt exist. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. 10. I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" Sometimes, I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Im jealous of all the people who havent met you. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind 38 enjoyable images for the dirty mind 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind . I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. I was just about to poison the tea. This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. 8. "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." But Im not okay with pointing out? I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? 2. You work for three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. Thats the essence of it.. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. 23. 69. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. Go right in. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. Why dont you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? Why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. You are the reason terrorists hate us.

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